20,048 Days

Today marks the 20,048^th day of my existence since birth.  It’s a milestone I’ve never achieved before, and will never experience again.  It’s a beautiful day here in the Valley of the Sun….a day to revel in the glory of God’s beauty as I sit and write about the majesty of awesomeness that surrounds me. 

Of course, the immediate question to my readers is, “What is so significant about 20,048 days”?  Here I sit…the day after Memorial Day 2014, the 27^th of May, and all I can think of is my father. 

Dorsey Leon Crow was born on 12 May 1929.  He would have been 85-years old this month.  And yet, God chose to take him home on 1 Apr 1984….exactly 20,048 days after he was born.  Today, I am exactly the same age as my father was the day he died and went home to be with our Lord. 

I am filled with a myriad of thoughts and feelings about achieving this mark in life.  I’m certainly happy to be sitting here with so much accomplished over the years of which I can be proud.  I have a wonderful wife and we’ve been together for 36+ years.  I have four beautiful daughters, a couple of fine son-in-laws, and five grandchildren.  I have a church family that I enjoy being around.  I have had a great opportunity to serve our country in the US Air Force for 30-years, and now have a job that is both challenging and rewarding with some great colleagues to work with.  I have a comfortable home and I’m financially stable.  My health is relatively good, and I’ve recently lost several pounds.  There are many things to be thankful for, and I consider myself truly blessed.I am also profoundly sad and sometimes angry.  Sad that my father was taken from us so soon at the age 54.  Sad that he didn’t get to experience “a ripe old age”. 

Angry that he didn’t get to experience all that has happened with his family since that time.  Angry that we no longer have the benefit of hearing his wisdom when we need advice.  Angry that he left Mom to be alone for so long. 

It seems like it was last week when I heard my mother tell me, “Daddy’s gone”.  I cried out in anguish and was inconsolable.  My beautiful wife tried her best to comfort me, even as she mourned for him herself.  She quickly rushed me to the hospital where my Mom, brother and sister were consoling one another and we tried our best to provide support for Mom who was only 53 years old at the time.  She was, and still is, a very strong and beautiful woman; spiritually in tune with the Creator.  And although I know she had her private moments of terrible grief and despair, she always seemed to have an air of fortitude about her…knowing that Dad’s pain was gone and that he was worshipping at the feet of Jesus.  And…that she would one day see him again.

Dad was taken while I was stationed in the Air Force at RAF Upper Heyford, England.  I was a Security Policeman in those days.  A year later I retrained into air traffic control and remained in that specialty throughout the rest of my military career.  Dad never knew me as an air traffic controller.  And he never saw me rise through the ranks of a 30-year career. 

My girls grew up….married….had babies of their own and are making their way through life in various ways.  Although Dad was able to see them all before he left, he never saw what they became.  And though my oldest may have some faint memories of him, my three youngest do not, short of seeing photos and perhaps a video clip.  But he lives on in me, and the memories of my wife and extended family that knew him well. 

I’ve said nothing about this significant mark on my personal calendar to anyone.  It’s been somewhat of a black cloud hanging over my head for a long time.  But I’ve thought about it often…especially in the last year.  I sometimes feel cheated by Dad’s absence, but I often think he would have been somewhat proud of my accomplishments.  After all….isn’t that what we all want to hear?

Finally, his health issues and ultimate and untimely death has seared itself into my own lifestyle.  Dad struggled with being overweight, diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.  I’ve inherited his high cholesterol and blood pressure and have a propensity towards gaining weight. I’m trying to keep these things in check; mostly because of remembering my Dad and his own difficulties.  He worked hard….sometimes too hard I’m afraid.  So I try to remain calmer and enjoy less stressful situations as much as possible. 

Dad’s legacy was his musical talents, his love of his family, and his faith in God.  I’ve inherited many of these same things from Dad and for that I’m grateful.  He wasn’t a perfect father, but he was MY father…the only one I’ve ever known.  And I miss him terribly.

So here’s to you Dad!  I need your help to carry me past 20,048 days of life on this earth.  Together we will enjoin our spirits together and press on!  I still hope to make you proud.

I love you so very much!

Papa Chief

The Real Enemy of the Races in America

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10-NKJV) 

I really, REALLY, hate to weigh in on this subject.  Things are getting way out of hand but, unfortunately, it’s the reality of the America we live in today.  You would have to be deaf, dumb and blind (no offense intended) or living on another planet for me to believe you’ve not heard of the mess created from the trial of George Zimmerman who admittedly shot and killed Trayvon Martin in Sanford, FL.  So…I will not even begin to convey my thoughts on the case here by weighing evidence and declaring guilt or innocence.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion and even my friends and I don’t always agree.  Much of what I have to say here was posted on Facebook (FB) already.  But for the benefit of those who don’t follow FB (yep….they DO exist), here it is again.

The REAL enemy here is the twisted press reports and inflamed rhetoric of those who want to create racial war and hatred in America. Naivety in believing everything you hear in the news, and following everyone with an agenda (white, black, conservative, liberal, Republican, Democrat, etc.), can cripple us as a nation and destroy the progress we have made over the last 100+ years. The truth of white/black murder is found in the statistics on hand; in this case the FBI report from 2011. In it you find what the press refuses to acknowledge; that our worst enemies are those within our own racial demographics. Crime in the United States - 2011

Racism exists...it always will in this lifetime. It's a cancer that should be radiated and destroyed. But I refuse to believe the hype we are being fed (and that so many people want to believe) that every time there is a dispute between the races then it must be a result of racism. I for one love my black and white friends and relatives equally. I make no excuses for the mistakes of others in the past, but am not ashamed of who I am as a strong white conservative Christian male either. The singer, dancer and songwriter, Michael Jackson, was almost the same age as me.  I grew up listening to his music and watching his odd way of life over the years.  What made him resonate with people had nothing to do with his skin color, his heritage, his hyperbaric chamber, the monkey he owned or his extravagant lifestyle.  What made a difference was his music and the words that he put to paper and expressed to the public in such dramatic fashion.  So as I end…I end with words written by Michael that are most appropriate on this subject.  I hope you apply them to your own life.

Whether you choose to believe it or not, when I get irritated with someone it's because of their idiotic behavior and has ZERO to do with their skin color. That would be like saying I'm angry with you because you drive a green Mazda instead of the fact that you just cut me off on the freeway and almost caused an accident. To say otherwise is to insult my intelligence as a human being that bleeds red...just like every other race on the planet.

Celebrities, politicians, talk-show hosts and religious opportunists have become the devil incarnate when it comes to inciting fear, hatred and violence.  Network news executives who are driven by higher and higher ratings and corporate sponsorships are equally as culpable.  Please don’t read into what I’m saying here.  There are good people in all of the categories I’ve listed…but there are a large vocally charged collective who have this country by the gonads and are spinning tales as long and as imaginary as the “Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy.

And the REAL devil is chuckling all the way to his hellish bank. 

Before you jump on the proverbial bandwagon of the biggest human hero on the topic of race and racism in America, take a look at the most important one of them all….yourself.  Decide what YOU truly and honestly believe about color, and then be strong and proud in that decision.  But be a leader from within…not a follower of sin.

Papa Chief

I’m starting with the man in the mirror

I’m asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

- Michael Jackson (1958-2009)

Telecommuting -- A New Way of Life

A lot has transpired since I last wrote.  I need to do better and be more consistent as I don’t wish for this blog to die a slow and painful death.  In any event, I’m back.  (Yay me!)

Much has been made of the decision recently by Yahoo’s new CEO, Marissa Mayer, to stop allowing employees to telecommute and work from home.  Well…significant news from me personally is my job change.  I accepted a new position that allows me the freedom to work from home.  Obviously, I don’t work for Yahoo. 

I’ve never worked from home before, so this is a new experience for me.  With my previous position, I commuted between 1-1/2 and 2-hours each day; that’s as much as 10-hours per week…or between 390-520 hours annually.  (See my blog of 18 July 2012) That’s a lot of road time.  That also put more than 10,000-miles on my truck each year at a cost of more than $2,500 in petrol.  That’s a lot of money and wear and tear on the old pick-up.

So, now I do this crazy thing called “sleeping in” (instead of driving in); get a decent night’s sleep and wake up refreshed; fix myself and my child bride a nice morning latte and perhaps a bagel to sit and relax with the morning news or out next to the pool enjoying the beauty of my oasis at home.  Tranquility is the theme before heading off the office to begin my workday.  My commute now takes approximately 15-30 seconds….depending on whether or not I have to pet the cats first.  Stress levels have plummeted!

I still get to travel, visit with old friends and new clients along the way, and enjoy the perks of a frequent flyer like expedited processing through TSA security and boarding first.  Oh yeah…an occasional “free” upgrade to first class is pretty cool too!

I really enjoy my new job and my new company and co-workers, even though they are far away from where I live.  (Hey…maybe that’s why I love them so much, eh?)  They have made me feel welcome, have bent over backwards to help me “learn” along the way, and are always professional without being stuffy, cold or impersonal.  And in case I forgot to mention…I haven’t worn a tie to work since mid-March!  And, oh yeah…I still work hard to keep the principle of Colossians 3:23.

But best of all, I have a loving wife who has been so supportive of this change.  She doesn’t particularly enjoy my travels (when she’s not along for the ride) but she understands that job satisfaction is so important to making life just that much sweeter.  With all my moves, job changes and travels, she has been my biggest champion and for that I am eternally grateful and blessed.  She keeps the home fires burning, and makes me look forward to walking through the door after a long day of airport woes to a beautiful home that is welcoming and relaxing.

After 35-years together….I think we both deserve it.  As the old gospel song says, life just gets sweeter as the days go by!

Papa Chief

For the Love of Christmas

I love Christmas!  For me, the sounds, sights and smells all come together in just the right way to fill my senses with the best that defines a religious and holiday experience.  Mind you, the commercialization drives me nuts like most people.  I hate Black Friday.  I get frustrated with all the advertising on TV and radio.  Burl Ives was a great guy….but did he ever sing anything anyone remembers beyond “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”?  And why did he look like a snowman anyway? 

Each year my lovely wife madly decorates our home and I tease her that it looks like Martha Stewart threw up on the inside of our house.  But I love it!  All the lights, the trees, the stockings, garland and a hundred little knick knacks sitting around do put a smile on my face.  Coming home after a long day at work, I enter to the sound of Kenny G playing a soulful Christmas tune while the angel atop the tree glows with ever-changing colors of light and the house is filled with the aroma of freshly baked cookies wafting through the air. 

Everyone has family traditions during the holidays, and our family is no different.  At some point, we always watch “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”.  Granted, it’s not the most “family friendly” movie on the shelf, but the irreverence is just what makes it such a hysterical joy.  I can identify every family member on both sides of the family aisle who are portrayed in that film.  And who doesn’t have a “Cousin Eddie” in the family anyway?  Poor Clark Griswold tries ever so hard to have one of those good old fashioned fun-filled Christmas’ surround by ‘normal’ family and friends…in spite of Eddie.  And I can identify with some of the poor guy’s failures to achieve the perfect Christmas celebration while battling the obnoxious snotty neighbors who already have the perfect little life.

Growing up, our tree had big hot light bulbs that melted the long strings of icicles that we hung on the REAL tree that always seemed to get a little bit brittle over time.  I’m sure we violated at least 23 fire codes with those decorations and dry tree….but luckily we survived.   

We always opened our gifts on Christmas Eve…a tradition we have continued with our own family.  I’m not really sure why other than we were just too anxious to wait.  We always had a nice Christmas dinner and the kitchen HAD to be cleaned up before opening presents.  I was always confused as to why we couldn’t “get on with it” with a dirty kitchen…but I digress. 

Daddy always sat in the big recliner while we listened to him read from the Bible about the birth of Christ.  Even though I was anxious, I always tried real hard to listen to the story and understand that Christmas was about the Savior of the world….not Santa and the next great toy.  I remember how proud I was the first time that Daddy let ME be the one to read the Christmas story.  We always prayed at the end and thanked God for our blessings in life before gingerly opening gifts being careful not to rip the paper and saving the bows.  (Hey…Santa was on a tight budget, OK?)

During a military deployment to the Middle East several years ago, I was lucky enough to spend Christmas living in a tent with nine other guys in the middle of the desert.  For the benefit of those who haven’t had such joy, let’s just say that I never felt so alone in my whole life.

My wife worked hard to send me packages and photos and things that kept me in touch with the family while I was away. In particular, I had a small Christmas tree about 12-inches tall with little battery operated multi-colored lights that I thought was pretty cool. It made for a great little night light and I loved lying in my cot just looking at the lights and thinking of my girls back home.  It made me smile.  She sent me a bunch of care packages too, including several Christmas gifts which I placed around the tree; ready to open when the big day arrived. 

And so in keeping with our family’s Christmas tradition, on Christmas Eve I sat on my cot trying rather unsuccessfully to not feel too sorry for myself while I opened my Bible and read the Christmas story once again. Then I bowed my head and thanked the Lord for the good things in my life and asked Him to protect my family who was pressing on without me back home.  Opening my eyes, I looked at my little tree with its twinkling lights and watched….as it slowly dimmed….and the lights went completely dark.  My last battery had died.  Staring into the darkness I said to myself, “Well….that pretty much sums it up right there, doesn’t it?”  So I promptly crawled into my cot and cried myself to sleep.

As sad (and true) as that story is, there are people all around the world who never get to experience the joys of Christmas and don’t have the luxury of family and friends during the holidays.  As Americans, we have soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen that will be alone for Christmas again this year and families separated by thousands of miles from those they love the most.  Some will spend their last Christmas on earth in the last place on earth they want to be.  I consider myself to be one of the fortunate ones. 

As you work to keep those restless kids from wetting themselves with anticipation of opening gifts…be sure to say a prayer for those who are alone this year whether at home or abroad.  I pray that their batteries will be fresh and take them into the new year with new hope for a better day and that God will grant them the joy of being with family and friends once again very very soon.

Remember…Jesus is the Reason for the Season!

Papa Chief 

35-Years in the Making

My wife and I just celebrated our 35^th wedding anniversary on November 26^th.  We were both kids when we married…I was 18 and she was an older woman of 19.  As with most marriages, it’s had its ups and downs and as she likes to tell folks, “We’ve been happily married for 30-years”. 

In honor of the woman who has put up with my antics for that long, I took her on a whirlwind cruise to the eastern Caribbean aboard Royal Caribbean International’s “Brilliance of the Seas”, and then surprised her by coordinating the renewal of our wedding vows.  It was an awesome and emotionally moving experience for us both.

I was really surprised at just how nerve wracking I found the whole vow renewal thing to be.  I mean, who would have thought that after 35-years I’d be nearly as nervous as I was the day we said, “I do” the first time?  But I was.

The ceremony was a simple but elegant affair with one of the ship’s officers officiating, beautiful white roses, chocolate covered strawberries instead of cake and a champagne toast.  The only others in attendance were 2 photographers and some guy we referred to as the “wedding lurker”; hanging outside of the closed off area and taking photos through the window on deck.  Before it was over, everyone was crying like they were watching the end of the movie “Phenomenon”…including the wedding lurker.

My uncle always referred to my aunt as his “child bride”; a term of endearment that I always admired.  And so I salute my own child bride with this article.  A woman who has given life to four beautiful daughters.  A woman who has followed me half-way around the world and back while I pursued my military career.  A woman who, when we were broke, was willing to work two jobs and take care of 6-kids (a couple of rentals in there) to make sure we had a van to haul everyone around and a roof over our head at night.   

There’s an attitude among a few liberal career women and chauvinistic men in our country that anyone who chooses to make homemaking as their career is less of a success in our world.  Hillary Clinton once touted her working woman career status and famously snapped back at reporters that she could have just “stayed home and baked cookies and had teas”.  More recently, the feministic hatred of homemakers was even felt by Mitt Romney’s wife, Ann, during the recent Presidential election when another Hilary (Rosen) attacked her by saying, “You know what, she’s never actually worked a day in her life”.  

Balderdash!  My wife has worked hard her whole life and taken care of things most people would cringe at doing.  Not only that, she is intelligent and thought-provoking, organized and driven in her “chosen” profession.  Her standards are high, expecting nothing but the best out of herself.  She is tenacious when necessary while possessing social grace when appropriate.  Bottom-line….she is a strong woman tempered by experience and by any measure a complete SUCCESS! 

I feel fortunate to call this woman my wife.  She deserves honor and respect for all she has endured and the lives she has enriched.  I’m proud to have her arm in mine and her gift of a ring on my finger. 

A young couple on the cruise noticed our formal attire and flowers and the young lady asked a question I’ve heard many times, “What’s the secret to a long and happy marriage?”  For me the answer is simple.  Finding a good woman who you love and adore and who reciprocates that love….and then, not screwing it up by being stupid.  That last part is sometimes the hardest.

Papa Chief