Graduation Dreams - Worry Not

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend the high school graduation of my great niece. I was so very proud of her! Graduations are a time of excitement, anticipation and encouragement mixed with a healthy dose of fear. What lies ahead? What will become of my friends? What events will change my life? The unknown is always mysterious.

These are good times, and as I reflected on this class of 2016 my thoughts raced back to my own daughter’s graduations and that of myself and even my siblings and parents. My…how things change from what we thought we would experience.  It’s just a guess, but I suppose most of us do not follow a given path, outlined as we would have imagined at the age of 18.  

My Mom and Dad both graduated high school after World War II.  Dad was from a small town in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas called Witts Springs.  These were country folks…backwoods…poor.  City folks would consider them hillbillies with their simple ways, southern drawls, lack of indoor plumbing, toilets or, in some cases, still washing their clothes on a washboard down at the crick.  As I recall, Dad graduated high school with about 8 or 10 other students, and he was at the top of the class!  

Mom was raised on an island in the middle of the Mississippi River south of St. Louis called Kaskaskia, IL.  It’s a farming community although many residents took odd jobs or worked for Mississippi Lime Company across the bridge in Missouri.  They were also considered mostly poor but, in my estimation, a bit more refined than my Arkansas relatives.  Mom went to school on the island in the early years and then in nearby St. Genevieve, MO where she graduated as valedictorian of her class.  

 

I graduated high school in Jonesboro, AR…wife Debbie in Farmington, MO.  Due to my 30-year Air Force career, my daughters ended up in various schools far from our roots; my eldest graduating in Niceville, FL and our three youngest from Lajes Field, Azores, Portugal.  

But back to my original thoughts on graduation.  

As I scanned the most recent class of 297 students I couldn’t help but think about their futures.  Some were destined for Ivy League colleges, some for engineering schools, and others for regional or community colleges.  A couple were heading to military academies while others most likely would attend trade schools or never attend college at all. 

There were notable differences in ethnicity….Anglo, African-American, Latino, Pakistani, Indian, Native American, Polynesian, Chinese, etc.  Yet each of them and their families had similar dreams and hopes for their sons and daughters.  

Some will be very successful in business; a few will become wealthy beyond our imagination and perhaps even famous.  There will be doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, engineers, business owners and corporate executives.  Some will become full time Mom’s and homemakers, entrepreneurs, or become experts in their chosen fields of automotive or computer trades.  Some may become military leaders (yay!) or politicians (shudder).  The sky is literally the limit!

But there’s the downside to life beyond graduation too.  Some will ultimately become drug addicts and prison inmates.  Others may live a life based on government assistance.  Still others will become homeless. Some will be victims of terrible crime, and a few will likely be dead before reaching the age of 30.  

Life is precious.  Life is unpredictable.  Life is…well…life.  

So, hold on to your dreams…work hard…play hard…but try to be safe.  Find love, laughter, and in all things I pray that you find God along the way.  For when HE is the central core of your goals and dreams, then I’ve discovered most everything else will fall into place, and there is very little to worry about.  

Cheers!

Papa Chief

Bullies on the Playground of Life

It’s 2016, the year of our Presidential politics and all that goes with it.  We’ve seen it before, but not usually when running for the most powerful position in the free world.  But there, played out on the TV news reports every day…a bully. Remember this guy?  Biff was a bully.  Click on the video clip for a reminder.
 

Like many people, I was bullied in life.  It was particularly dramatic for me from grades 7-9.  I rode a bus to school most days and used to get taunted, called cruel names, threatened with pain and death, punched, spit on, laughed at, kicked, and on one occasion beaten on the back of the head until it started to bleed and swell…while standing at the front of the bus next to the driver who did absolutely nothing to stop it.  And I did nothing to defend myself either.  It’s not that I was “chicken” or “yellow”, but rather the product of my upbringing.  

I was always taught to “turn the other cheek” and not to fight.  At one point, I even remember being taken to the home of one particular nemesis of mine after a nasty altercation on the bus, and being forced to “apologize” for any wrong I had caused.  It didn’t stop the bullying.  In the bully’s mind, it made me weak.

Eventually, we moved away to another town and, in my way of thinking, a new start.  These kids didn’t know me, so it was a fresh beginning.  I quickly made a few friends at Southland High School in Arbyrd, Missouri, and things seemed to be good…for about a week.  Then it happened.

As I was walking back to the main building on campus between classes, this kid came up behind me and started calling me names, pushing me in the back, laughing at me…the new kid syndrome I suppose.  I glanced back and noticed that not only was he trying to goad me into a confrontation, he was also a head shorter than me.  What!!!!????  Are you kidding me?

I walked up the front steps and entered the building with this knucklehead on my tail.  Unbeknownst to him, years of anger, belittling and head beatings began to boil out of my stomach and into my brain.  I had no intentions of enduring this again…ever!  

Just as he punched me in the back one last time I swung around and, like Billy Jack on the courthouse lawn, grabbed numb-nuts by the wrist, twisted it behind his back, and slammed his face up against the nearest wall.  Then without missing a beat got up next to his ear and in a quiet voice said, “If you ever touch me again…I will kill you.  Do you understand me?”  

“Yes”, came the meek reply.

I never had a problem with bullies in school after that day.  And neither did George McFly.

It was a watershed moment for me.  A small victory in the world of mean people.  And I came to the realization that there is such a thing as “righteous anger”.  Ever since that day, I have never cowered to a bully or failed to intervene when others were being bullied.  Now that doesn’t mean the episodes from bullies stopped, but it does mean I didn’t take it lying down.  And I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way.  Here are just a few:

Bullies Have Low Self-Esteem

By bullying others, they are over compensating for not feeling good about themselves.  Perhaps they were bullied in the past, or perhaps belittled and pushed around at home.  Bullies tend to have bullies for role models, whether it’s a parent, sibling or other authority figure in their life.  They often don’t like themselves…who they are…who they have become.  And they take it out on others to make themselves feel superior.  Bullies are afraid of appearing weak.

Bullies Need Love Too

That may seem like a polar opposite, because we know that a person who bullies does not generally receive love in return (unless it’s fake).  But the fact remains that they have a desire to be loved just like anyone else.  The difference is they’ve not developed the cognitive coping mechanisms or social skills to give or receive the love they so desire.  They tend to not know how to reciprocate well when someone truly shows love to them.  Proverbs 25:21-22 tells us, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.” [NIV]

Bullies Always Look for the Weakest Link

Unless they are inebriated, most bullies don’t take on the Hulk Hogan’s of the world.  They look for the vulnerable…someone smaller, weaker, or who may appear to not be a part of the crowd they are associated.  They may verbally or physically abuse women, the elderly or children.  They make fun of anything and everything not associated with strength or mental fortitude.  They thrive on psychological and physical superiority and find it in those below their own peak of greatness.

Bullies Are Everywhere

It doesn’t matter whether you’re old, young, rich, poor, employed, unemployed, religious, or not.  Bullies can be found in every walk of life…even (and especially) in politics.  I retired from the U.S. Air Force at the highest enlisted rank of Chief Master Sergeant (E-9).  And yet, even as a Chief I encountered some of the worst bullies you could imagine among my peers.  In fact, I think the rank itself may have given them some kind of green light to act like total jerks.  After all….almost EVERYone was beneath them in rank and power.  And many of the junior officers above them were intimidated as well.  What a glorious place for a bully to find themselves!  

Bullies Respect Being Pushed Back

As bad as this may sound to my pacifist Christian friends, bullies who get pushback tend to respect that person more.  This works no matter the playing field.  If you don’t hold your ground they see you as weak and vulnerable.  Whether it’s the playground, or politics…bullies respect those who give as well as they take.  But there’s a difference between standing your ground and dishing out revenge.  They are not the same, and revenge is not Christ-like.  Jesus Himself was face to face with the Roman procurator, Pilate, who questioned him at the eleventh hour prior to death.  When he didn’t get a response, his frustration was evident when he said to Jesus, “Do you refuse to speak to me?  Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”  Jesus stood his ground in His response saying, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.”  [John 19:9-11, NIV]  Although Pilate finally relented and gave him over for crucifixion instead of risking a riot, Jesus had gained his respect…tried to find a reason to release Him, and finally had a placard placed above His head on the cross that named him “King of the Jews”.  

 

Some might say, “You violate your Christian principles when you stand up to a bully”.  I beg to differ.  Whether it’s in the workplace, at school, in church or on the playground…by standing up to the bully you gain respect and quite possibly a friend in the long run.  By doing so, and then offering a hand in friendship and demeanor of kindness, you are demonstrating that there is a better way as well as a better outcome for you both.  You may not always win the fight, but you will certainly win the war.  There really can be ‘Peace through Strength’.  I only wish our politicians would heed the call as well.

Papa Chief

Time Marches On...

To say this has been an interesting year would be an understatement.  2015 started off with a bang and ended…well…much different than anticipated.  

I won’t bore you with the details, but after nearly a year of business travel, trying to balance work and home life…my company decided to downsize and eliminate my position.  So here I sit just a few days from Christmas and find myself unemployed for the first time since I joined the US Air Force in 1979.  

Being cognizant of my familial responsibilities, one of the first things I did was file for unemployment insurance.  That’s what you do when you’re unemployed, right?  That’s what BHO and the liberal left encourages us ALL to do, right?  I’ve paid into this program since the age of 16 when I took my first “real” job working the grill at Dairy Queen back in Paragould, Arkansas in 1975.  All told, I’ve contributed to this program for 40-years; a program designed as a bridge to help those in need during difficult times.

After filling out all the required on-line paperwork, and receiving a loadable debit card in the mail, I received notice that my income was “excessive” and I qualified for $0.00 in unemployment insurance.  To say I was disappointed in “the system” is an understatement.  I guess if I’d stuck with Dairy Queen for 40-years flipping hamburgers at minimum wage I would have qualified for assistance. The sad reality is that I would have been better off to put that money into a bank account for 40-years, collecting interest, and then have something to help with the financial crunch now.  Alas…all is not lost.  Perhaps I can turn the debit card they sent me into a Christmas craft project of some sort; maybe an ornament for the tree to remember 2015!

Before I sound all gloom and doom, however, there is some good news to go along with my unexpected situation.  In an attempt to bring our expenses down in line with our expenditures, we made the decision to pay off a large chunk of debt. Thankfully the Lord has blessed us over the years (as always) and we've made a few sound financial decisions along the way. So…no need to send me your left-overs from Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  And unlike some less fortunate folks, I’ve still got my military pension (for now) and we’re going to be OK.  God has blessed us immensely and the future is bright for 2016! And guess what...He is STILL getting His cut right from the top!

Which brings me to the headliners for the New Year…politics, war, and the continued ignorance of our government leadership.  You can read between the lines if you like; but this blog is supposed to be fun…not drudgery.  So the best thing I can recommend in order to keep your sanity is…watch the comedians.  They produce their best fodder during this season of political stupidity.  I have high hopes for SNL this year!

Merry Christmas!  

Papa Chief

Cogitationes Autumni

Welcome to the Autumnal Equinox!  This year has gone by so fast.  I’ve been traveling quite a bit with my job, which I enjoy, but it makes the time slip away quickly.  As I’ve been known to quip…”I’m busier than a three-legged cat at a dog show”. 

The world seems in turmoil these days.  Whether it’s floods, fires, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, record snowstorms, heat waves or drought, it seems that our environment is always cooking up something amazing.  Add to that the crap that humans create on their own….wars, and rumors of wars…and it makes for some crazy living. 

So…with that in mind, I bring a few random thoughts for you to chew on (or not).  In no particular order:

• People that behead other people for no particular reason other than to create fear on an international level are sick, pathetic and the epitome of pure evil.  Yes, I believe evil exists.  There is no hope to cure truly evil people….they are turned over to the devil and his angels (yep….I believe in those too).  But there is hope, because I've read the end of the book already.

•  “Perception” is “Truth” for 99% of the population….whether it’s true or not.

• Purple is the greatest color ever invented by God.  No, I am not gay.

• Bacon is the greatest food item on the planet.  Either you like bacon….or you’re wrong.  I think God prohibited Jews and Muslims from eating bacon so that there would never be a shortage for Christians and atheists.

• I inherited a “lazy eye” from my father.  I love my father.  I think my lazy eye looks retarded.  But having one gives me a piece of my father every time I look in the mirror.  I am grateful.

• If my wife were in charge of designing all the states in the U.S on a map….they would likely be arranged in compatible shapes and neatly fit on a shelf in complimentary colors.  The shape of the U.S. would resemble a silk scarf blowing lightly through the earthly atmosphere.  Parisian artists would ask for her autograph.  NatGeo would try to find the source of her dyes.  The History Channel would create a documentary of her life.  HGTV would develop a designer series of planet beautification projects for the ages.  Organization and an eye for beauty are her forte....and I love it!

• Cats show disdain for others….because they can.

• Instead of angels playing harps….in my heaven, the angels are playing banjos.

• Airlines should offer adult-only flights.  I’d likely pay extra for that.

• I’ve never understood the purpose of either the mosquito or the fly.

• My political views are often misunderstood by those who don’t take the time to shut up and listen.  The same is probably true of me when it comes to others political views.  We should all learn to listen more…and talk less.

• There’s a reason they are called deviled eggs.  If bacon had an evil twin….it would be deviled eggs.

• A dust devil has nothing to do with the devil…or evil…or bacon and eggs for that matter.  But they sure are cool to watch!

• A dream to do something is only a dream unless you put thoughts into action.  Life is short….dream big….act now….savor the adventure.

Peace out!

Papa Chief